am*dam squat scene rant
mutual aid - 09.03.2003 14:35
I could write about all the rocking things in the am*dam squat scene (and I probably will for other spaces), but for here that won’t kick along a dialogue or challenge the shit things within it – so instead I’m posting a rant. Sorry it’s in english, not dutch.
I could write about all the rocking things in the am*dam squat scene (and I probably will for other spaces), but for here that won’t kick along a dialogue or challenge the shit things within it – so instead I’m posting a rant. Sorry it’s in english, not dutch.
Disclaima: I’ve only been here 6 months, and I don’t speak dutch, and I never really felt welcome or comfortable in the squatting scene (for a variety of reasons, the grumpy wall, people’s judgement, and the fact I identify as queer ........ etc) so haven’t been to loads and loads of actions.
I have a strange reaction to thinking about squats in am*dam. On one hand I am blown away by some of the spaces, the folk kitchens, the free shops, the organisation, the solidarity, the resistance, the history, its amazing, diverse, inspiring, radical, organised. But at once I am appalled at how heterosexist and macho it is; judgemental, too tight and grumpy and unwelcoming, how hegemonic the stoicism feels, how unaware of its own privilege it seems to be (this is a general observation of the Netherlands in general, with people not acknowledging the colonial history that has given this place such riches).
My experiences have been hard to push through, grumpy drunken baby punks not wanting to give me the time of day on squatting actions, discussions with people who just really fucked me off with their rants (“friendship is a northern luxury”), way too conformist and uniform for me to deal with, hella macho and male dominated (even though there are some tough and inspiring chicks around) and informal codes of membership (modes of talking, experience, proving yourself, fashion etc), and worst; experiencing and observing arrogance and racism at kraakspeekuurs.
I hated the feeling that there was a ‘membership’ based on authenticity and validity, boundaries and a definite culture of exclusion. It pissed me off endlessly, to be fighting borders on the one hand, then feeling like I had to (im)patiently wait til I was accepted in to the squat scene before being “in”. (of course this is also based on all my own perceptions and insecurities too and there are genuine security concerns when it comes to trusting ‘new’ people...but...)
I feel like I should have pushed a bit harder and not let the attitudes and things that shat me stop me from engaging more with this space. I admire the people I know (mainly women) who seem to ignore the shit and get on with it, at once resisting and creating different ways by virtue of the fact they are DOING IT, but I couldn’t seem to get beyond feeling really fucked off with my experiences (and those of friends) at the kraakspreekuurs and generally.
Some people have said “oh just ignore the bobos” or “oh him, yeah he’s a wanker, no-one listens to his shit” – but this pisses me off too, it should be everyone’s responsibility to pull up people that are being idiots and treating people like shit; confront these kinds of attitudes and initiate more free and open ways of living. All this fend-for-yourself crap is bullshit, aren’t people in to mutual aid here?
Basically the single message I’d like to send to the squat ‘community’ (scene?) in am*dam is that being radical doesn’t mean you have to be rude; and that to my mind it is more revolutionary to be warm, friendly and compassionate than to be rude, judgemental and standoffish. The prevailing attitudes and modes of behaviour, around being tough, wearing the squat uniform etc are extremely exclusive and the arrogance and coldness of some people is really really ugly and disappointing in what is purportedly a radical space.
People would do well to remember the privilege that they have and stop with the bullshit of building hierarchies of cool, experience, hardcore-ness and inner circles of arrogance. It is possible to have tight secure communities without being assholes. If the am*dam radical community was infused with a bit more warmth I think that things would crank a lot more, ever more people would become radicalised and engaged and the space would be more open to marginalised groups.
By the way, I still think there is some fantastic stuff here: I just think that the bullshit needs to be challenged more, hence writing and posting this :)
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